On behalf of my Dad...

....I would like to post the following (and cuz I need to bump up the ole post count):

Why Men Are Happier
(comments in () are Jess')

What do you expect from such simple creatures!?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. (Ed. That's just gross.... ewww...)

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky. (Ed. Or if they don't take credit cards... I never have cash on me...)

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. (Ed. I do know which way to turn a nut... cracking a nut is a whole other story!)

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100. (Ed. My wedding gown cost less than Jeremy's rental, thank you! In general, though...)

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. (Ed. As is the follow up smack across the face from the nearest woman.)

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood, ALL the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. (Ed. I actually prefer email... not a phone junkie... Though I remember quite a few 4 hour + phone calls with a certain someone.... hmm... ;-) )

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. (Ed. That I, the wife, pack! Hee hee)

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.(Ed. What about fly problems??? Hmmm????!!!!)

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. (Ed. Or see that they're dirty without smelling them. )

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. (Ed. If you don't want to kiss your wife, that is...)

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes. (Ed. Nope, Amazon.com won't deliver packages on Christmas... gotta start on the 23rd with guaranteed overnight delivery.)

No wonder men are happier!